Just a Shadow in a Thought
by londonchick
Summary: Harry leaves, murders and learns to trust a Malfoy. Meanwhile, Ginny, Hermione, and Ron have their own troubles moving on and returning to the once happy school of Hogwarts.


1. Death and Murder

I watched the proverbial sunrise  
coming up over the Pacific and  
you might think I'm losing my mind,  
but I will shy away from the specifics...

'cause I don't want you to know where I am  
'cause then you'll see my heart  
in the saddest state it's ever been.

This is no place to try and live my life.

Stop right there. That's exactly where I lost it.  
See that line. Well I never should have crossed it.  
Stop right there. Well I never should have said  
that it's the very moment that  
I wish that I could take back.

-Relient K

Hermione woke up on Saturday morning. She stretched and sat up in bed. It took her some time to register in her mind that she was at the Burrow. She looked over her shoulder at Ginny sleeping soundly.

"I'm glad you got sleep," Hermione muttered and lazily got up to get dressed.

Everything was silent. It was weird compared to normal hustle bustle that went on. She guessed it was peaceful since Fred and George had gotten a flat in Diagon Alley just above their joke shop. Hermione trudged down the creaky stairs. She saw Ron outside sitting by the garden. Hermione leaned on the counter table to get a better look. He was staring pensively off into space, perhaps about Harry.

Ever since he went off to be heroic and kill Voldemort, it hadn't been the same. It seems like Ginny was the only one coping, yet Hermione sometimes find her looking out windows with a blank expression on her face. She still acted the same around everyone, her and her fiery attitude.

Hermione poured two cups of coffee and carried them out to Ron.

"Hey," Hermione said quietly. Ron looked up and sat straight.

"Good morning," Ron said slowly. Hermione handed him a cup of coffee and she sat down beside him.

"Did you have a hard time sleeping?" Hermione asked.

"No," Ron put his guard up and defended himself. Hermione rolled her eyes.

"Well, I did. I wonder if Harry will come back."

"I don't care."

"He's our friend, of course you care. We can talk about it. I know that's what is on your mind."

"You're wrong."

"No, I'm not."

"Look, I told you. Harry left, I don't care if he comes back! He can stay where ever he is! I just don't care anymore!"

"Ronald, I know you do! You care about him just like everyone else! Don't you dare say that! Don't you dare!" Hermione hastily wiped her tear and huffed.

"Look, I'm sorry. I guess I do care… a little. But I don't want to be like Mum and Dad. They aren't going to sleep until he comes back. I want to carry on. I want to forget."

"But why?"

"Harry asked me to."

"Wait... he talked to you before he left!"

"Yes. The night of the wedding when we were getting ready to go to sleep, Harry instead packed his things and decided to leave. He told me to take care of you and Ginny. Hermione, he told me not to say anything and to act clueless. Sorry I kept it from you..."

"Why did he want it to be so exclusive? What if her were to die? I mean, he never said goodbye!"

"I—I dunno," Ron patted Hermione's shoulder. She got a sudden feeling of sadness emitting from Ron.

"What happened, Ron?" Hermione asked and stared into his saddened eyes.

"N-nothing!"

"What happened? I may be upset, but I'm not stupid. There's something wrong."

"I—I had kept in contact with Harry for about three weeks."

"And?"

"All of a sudden… he stopped contacting me."

Hermione sat there, speechless. There goes another stress bomb on her life. What was going to happen now? She started crying. Ron tried to calm her, but it was a failed attempt. She buried her head in his shoulder as he cautiously wrapped his arms around her back. He could feel her shortened breath and rising and falling of her shoulders. Her short breaths began to subside and her breathing was back to normal after a while.

He lifted her head withhis thumb under her chinand thought. _"I won't ever let you get hurt, Hermione Granger."_

Ron and Hermione looked at each other and smiled, but both realized that they were holding onto one another. They both got red in the face and unlatched the grip they had on one another.

"So…" Ron ran his fingers through his hair.

"I'll be going now," Hermione sprang up and strode across the front lawn.

---

Harry stumbled through foreign woods and finally knelt at the foot of a tree. He was out of breath, starving, and weak. What had happened to him? Why was he feeling so homesick? The answer came almost at once… Ginny. He couldn't stop thinking about how he might have hurt her and how she probably hates him. Then thoughts of Hermione and Ron crept into his mind. He had just left them, only not Ron. He had left him on a brighter note which mad his gut lurch. Hermione was going to hate him forever.

School started today, he wondered if they were ready for it, if they were ready to return to a school with sad memories. Harry clenched a handful of dirt and grimaced. His hatred for Snape and Voldemort was his only drive. He couldn't focus an anything else or the time being. That is why he had lost contact with Ron. He needed to focus on killing his enemies once and for all. He heard a distant cracking of branches and then heard a couple of raspy voices, getting nearer.

"Where should we bury the body?"

"You fool, do as the Dark Lord commanded!" Harry recognized that voice. It was Snape. I guess he was calling the shots, which meant that… "Wormtail! I said here!"

It was maybe Harry's lucky day. He slowly crept up and pulled out his wand. He had practiced non-verbal spells and actually was fairly decent at them. He closed his mind and said Crucio over and over again in his mind. Nothing happened. He couldn't take the risk, but he had to. What if he missed his opportunity? He jumped out into the clearing and shouted.

"_CRUCIO_!" Harry bellowed. It hit Snape full force in the back. He rammed into Wormtail and they both toppled over. Wormtail hobbled up and grabbed Snape's wand.

"_Expelliarmus_!" he squeaked. Harry parried the incantation and shot another curse that way.

"_Sectusempra_!" Harry shouted. Wormtail's face slashed and blood spewed endlessly. He saw Snape getting up out of the corner of his eye.

"Good, Potter…" Snape swayed after he got on his feet. He clapped his hands sarcastically.

"Shut the bloody hell up," Harry said through gritted teeth. Snape's lips curled up.

"I see you learned to close your mind. Very impressive."

"I said shut up!" Harry bellowed.

He could feel Snape trying to enter his mind. He concentrated and finally that feeling subsided.

"Ahhh," Snape sighed. "Do you not understand? Dumbledore had discussed this with me. He told me where you were going and he said if the time came I should kill him, for he was already dying."

"You lie. He told no one!" Harry saw right through his plan. Snape'sface contorted into a very angry one.

"You wretched boy! You and your father are exactly alike! I'm glad I killed Albus! I took joy in killing that oaf. I-!"

"SHUT UP!" Harry yelled.

"You want to kill me?" Snape had entered Harry's mind.

"Damn," Harry muttered. He tried to concentrate on shutting his mind.

"Stop. You can't. Once I'm in, I won't get out."

"I'll kill you!"

"Be my guest. I don't think you have the nerve."

"What you think doesn't matter to me."

"But what I think is the truth."

"Stop it!" Harry felt Snape digging deeper into his feelings.

"Ginny Weasley, eh? Nasty blood traitor."

"Get out of my head!"

"_Accio_ WAND!" Snape bellowed. His wand flew into his hand. It caught Harry off guard. He didn't know Snape could do uncontrolled magic.

"_Expelliarmus_!" Harry yelled. Snape parried and shot a curse back as if it were nothing.

"_Crucio_!" Snape hissed. Harry felt an uncontrollable pain take over his body. He fell to the ground and his wand rolled off his fingertips.

"AHH!" Harry felt searing pain all over.

"You shouldn't have meddled. The Dark Lord will be pleased with my discovery," Snape turned away and went to mend Wormtail's cut. He had lost a considerable amount of blood.

Harry barely lifted himself up with his hands and hobbled onto his legs. He grabbed his wand and staggered a bit. He thought of all the times Snape had tormented him. How he had cursed his father's name. How Snape had killed—killed Dumbledore. How he had tricked the Order… He solidly lifted his arm and closed his mind. _"No more pain." _Harry thought.

"Avad—avada…" Harry grunted.Harry felt himself weakiningHe mustered up all the courage and strength he could… "_AVADA KEDAVRA_!"

He had channeled all of his hatred towards Snape. The curse was a brilliant green as itsoared andhit him square in the back and he crumbled to the ground. Dead.

"Severus!" Wormtail squealed. He knelt over him and then looked at Harry with fire in his eyes. "_You_! You killed him! He's dead!"

"Get ready for the same thing!" Harry grimaced.

"NO!" Wormtail squealed. He transformed into a rat and scurried off.

"No!" Harry yelled out in anger. "Damnit!"

He walked over to Snape and saw his pale face. He shivered and looked away. It wasn't right. He had succumbed to what the Death eaters were, a mirthless killer. It's true, when he killed Snape, he had enjoyed every minute of it. Harry opened his heavy eyes and noticed the body they were going to bury. He walked over cautiosly and gasped. It was Draco Malfoy and he wasn't dead! Harry could see his chest rising and falling hastily.

"Malfoy?" Harry asked a little cautiously.

"Mmm," Malfoy grunted.

"Why did they try to kill you? Answer me!" Harry demanded.

He realized he wasn't going to get an answer from him anytime soon. He picked him up and threw him over his shoulder. It was the right thing to do. Maybe he could force information out of him. Use him as his tool.

---

"Ginny. Ginny!" Mrs. Weasley shook her gently.

"Hmm?" Ginny grunted with her eyes still shut.

"It's almost time to leave for school."

"Good to know," Ginny replied sarcastically. Molly gave her a rueful look. Ginny sighed. "I'll be down after I change."

"Thank you," Molly replied and scurried out of the room.

Ginny covered her eyes with her arm for a few more minutes and decided to live up to her word. She groaned to herself as she went through her clothes. She had packed most of her good clothes. As she was rifling through her sweaters, on fell down and covered her face.

"Grr!" Ginny growled. She tugged it off her face and threw it on the ground.

She finally found a pair of old jeans and a battered Weird Sisters band T-shirt. She trudged downstairs and sat at the table. Mrs. Weasley placed a plate of breakfast in front of her. Ginny gobbled it down like Ronand drank her orange juice. She got up to find Hermione. All of her actions were hurried.

"It's chilly out. Do you need to borrow a sweater? I know you packed all of yours," Molly smiled.

"No, actually… while I was getting my clothes I found an extra one. I'll just get that one."

"Oh, all right. Meet me down here in five minutes. I'll find Hermione and Ron for you."

"All right. Thank you," Ginny smiled and walked up the stairs.

She walked into her room and picked up the sweater. As she was sliding it over her head, she remembered something. Harry had given this to her. It was his old sweater that he had gotten from the Tri-Wizard Tournament. He had told her it used to be one of his favorites. Ginny smiled. Unlike her friends, she liked to remember Harry. Even though he crushed her heart, it was a simple thing to understand. He needed to do this for him to feel accomplished. It wasn't bad. It was noble. At least that is what Ginny tells herself. Maybe she did have a hard time facing the real truth, but it was better than being remorse.

"He'll come back," Ginny whispered to herself and smiled.

She slid down the rail of the stairs and collided with Ron. They toppled over and Ginny started laughing.

"That isn't really funny. What are you laughing at?" Ron was a little red in the face.

"Just laugh already! You haven't laughed for ages!" Ginny was still in hysterics. Ron found that amusing. He started chuckling, which turned into hysterical laughter. Molly hurried into the living room.

"What's going on?" Molly asked.

"I—heh—I don't—don't know!" Ron laughed.

"What's so funny?" Hermione just entered the room.

"I don't know!" Ginny and Ron finally were down to a giggle.

"If you're finished, Mr. Weasley is here. He is ready for us to leave," Hermione replied.

"Okay, let's go," Ginny sighed and proceeded out the door with Ron and Hermione at their heels.

---

Harry finally found a safe spot. He made a campfire and defiantly nurtured Malfoy back to health. He was able to speak and sit up after a few hours. He flicked his eyes open and looked around.

"What am I doing here?" Malfoy asked.

"What, no thanks?" Harry shot as he threw a couple sticks on the fire.

"I thought I was dead._You_ saved _me_?" Malfoy kept asking questions and Harry was almost at his boiling point.

"Yes."

"Oh."

"Why did they want you dead?"

"I—um."

"Answer me," Harry pointed his wand at Malfoy's throat. He didn't flinch.

"That doesn't scare me."

"Just answer the question."

"I tired to escape from the Dark Lord."

"Why?"

"Why should I tell you?"

"Because, you don't have a wand and I do. You are weak and I'm not. Answer the question," Harry demanded and thrust his wand under Malfoy's chin.

"Fine!" Malfoy pushed Harry's hand aside and glowered. "It was because I realized what I did was wrong and I wanted out."

"Once a Death Eater, always a Death Eater."

"I was never a Death Eater."

"What? But when you went into Borgin and Burkes and when Madame Malkin fixed your robes… your arm…"

"My mum painted it on for me so I could threaten him. It was still wet when Malkin tried to stick me with her needle," Malfoy replied quietly.

"I see."

"What's it to you anyway? You should kill me."

"No, you are useful."

"So now I am just a pawn in your screwed up game of Potter Chess?"

"You could say that. Face it, you are in my control for the time being."

"Until you kill me."

"But I won't."

"How did you get past Snape?"

"I killed him."

"What?"

"I—killed—him. He's dead," Harry rolled his eyes as reality struck him. He had murdered a man... _murder_...

---

"Ginny, that isn't that your sweater is it? Isn't that Harry's?" Hermione asked after the train had already departed.

"Yes it is," Ginny smiled.

"And you're wearing it?" Ron asked.

"Yes, why?" Ginny asked.

"I dunno. It's just that, well, that sweater is _Harry's_ from the Tournament. Did you take it from him?" Ron asked.

"No, he gave it to me. All my other sweaters were packed so I had to wear this or one of mum's ridiculous ones."

"Oh," Hermione sighed and disappeared behind her book.

Ron shifted uncomfortably.

"Is it stuffy in here or is it just me?" Ginny asked.

"I suppose it is a little," Hermione replied, still engulfed in her book. Ginny opened the window and cool air began to flood in. Ron shifted again and looked at Hermione quizically.

"What's wrong, Ron?" Ginny asked. She recognized the look in his eye. It was the same way harry used to look at her. Longing and hope.

"Hmm? Nothing!" Ron snapped his neck and looked away. Ginny smiled mischievously, conjuring up a plan in her mind.

The rest of the ride was pretty dull except for the random gusts of wind that would scatter all of Hermione's extra credit work. That was comical to Ron and Ginny.

Once at the school, the three loaded up into the carriages and rode up to the glowing school. The day went by pretty fast.

"This place is so rueful," Hermione whispered sadly.

"Yes… but it's home," Ron smiled gently and patted Hermione's shoulder.


End file.
